Don't
by DreamerTales
Summary: Hanna, Emily, and Alison's journey to finding peace in love.
1. Will she?

**A/N: Slight AU. One were Shana was A, and everyone else decides to not build an army against Alison. They hate her from afar. BTW this isn't anti-Alison, it's just that different points of views might have different opinions x)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own PLL or its characters. **

**Hanna POV**

We were all in Spencer's living room chatting. Spencer, Aria, and Emily were doing most of it. I still felt the tension between Alison and I. Honestly I'm so fed up with her shit. I don't really think she's changed much at all, and I can't understand how the girls, especially Emily, think she has.

To me she's still as manipulative, and shady as she's always been except that this time around she's not being a bitch, she's being one of those nice let-me-sink-my-claws-in-you type. She's still for the most part the head of this group. We still for the most part follow what she wants us to do. Yes, it's not as bad as before, and she's not as controlling as before, but I'm not buying this "change" of hers.

Having her back here is bringing out the worst in me.

I hate it so I've been drinking more and more. Which then makes me hate myself even more because I'm becoming a total low-life and THAT sends me back to drink more; to try and forget.

It's become an unforgiving cycle, and the scary part is part of me doesn't care. The other part of me wants to stop, but I can't. I feel like I'm drowning, but in what? Shame? Anger? Jealousy? I don't know.

Caleb's back, and he's whom I've been drinking with. But I don't love him anymore. Of course I care for him, but he left. And he's a part of my past I'd rather leave behind.

Travis and I broke up. Well, he broke up with me, and I know it's bad to think so, but I'm somewhat relieved. I didn't really like him a lot. He was nice, and good-looking, but I didn't feel genuine about him.

I loved Caleb, but…

There is something I've never told anyone.

I've always loved Emily.

It started off when all of us became friends.

I was fat, and Alison would always be cruel to me, Spencer and Aria would occasionally reassure me. But Emily was always there.

She would call me every night to simply talk about nothing important. She never said so, but I think it was her way of letting me know she was my friend without having to remind me. Everyday we'd talk on the phone, or hang out, and she was always nice. She would give me compliments too. Not backhanded ones, or ones out of pity. Emily has always been genuinely kind, and I loved her for it.

She's strikingly gorgeous, and was the sport celebrity of school, still is for all her record breakings. She was could have become the popular conceited girl that could have anyone she wanted, but she didn't because Emily is not like that.

Like Alison.

You could give Emily the key to the world, a wand of limitless power, and I guarantee she would only use it for good. She would help others. She would create world peace. She would never use it for evil, or for her own selfish desire, because Emily just doesn't have it in her. She's good.

I never told anyone, and then Alison disappeared and everything became much more complicated. Then Caleb came along and he was easy. For starters he was a boy, and I wouldn't have to deal with something so complicated as figuring my sexual preferences out. And I actually liked him, but Emily was my first as Alison was for her.

I never stopped feeling for Emily though. Not even when I was with him.

As great as Emily is she does have her flaws; like everyone. But Emily's flaws have to do with her best qualities. She can be too kind and humble. Too forgiving, and loving. In a perfect world too much of any of these things wouldn't be bad, but this isn't a perfect world. In this world being too much of this or being this in the first place, will get you crushed.

Even though Emily has become tougher, and is not as naïve or as much as a pushover; as I was too; she still has a weakness for Alison. My fear is that she'll go back to the way she was with Alison and that Alison will use her the way she did.

Alison did a lot of bad things to all of us, but I can't imagine something more cruel than to have someone fall in love with you, and to use that love to manipulate them, to use them. To have them loyally follow you around. And to top it off, to give them hope that you might love them back. To tell them things that you know make them think you just might be as in love with them as they are with you, just so that when they DO show you affection you remind them to stay in their place.

If someone had done that to me, I don't think I could ever forgive them.

But then there's Emily, with her kindles, forgiveness, and love.

Alison, cruel, manipulating, loveless Alison does not deserve someone as good as Emily.

As my mouth moves to join in mindless talks with the girls, my mind only thinks of this, and my eyes occasionally turn to Emily and Alison.

My heart sinks a little more every time I catch Emily shyly giving Alison a sideways glance. There's confusion and hurt in her eyes. But there's always that thing I would see since before Alison went missing.

Love.

Alison doesn't realize this, as she chats with us too although once, or twice she would glance at Emily when Emily wasn't looking. Alison unlike Emily was unreadable or maybe I just wasn't as good at reading Alison as I was with Emily.

So every few minutes I would do this.

Turn to see their eyes, and their interaction.

Try and find out if there was anything going on between them, but mostly trying to find out if Emily was sinking back into the endless black energy-sucking hole that was Alison.

I don't want Emily to go back to the way she was. I don't want her to be 100% at Alison's will like she was. I want her to realize how wonderful she is, and how many other girls would love to have her love.

Girls like me that would give anything to have that, and would gladly love her back just as much.

Again I glance between them, but this time I catch Emily's eyes.

We look into each other's eyes for a second and a soft smile forms on her face.

That's always been enough, now I'm not so sure.

But all I can do is smile back.


	2. Promise

**A/N: So what do you guys think so far? BTW what's your ship Emison or Hannily? **

* * *

**Alison POV**

"Hey Em, do you wanna hang?" I hear Hanna say to Emily as we walk out of Spencer's house.

Aria already got in her car, and I'm walking a little behind the two.

"Uhm… I thought that's what we did just now at Spencer's?" Emily sounded confused.

"I know, but just you and me."

"I don't know Hanna…" I turned and saw the plead on Hanna's face as Emily started to reject her offer.

Emily sighed. "Fine. Where do you want to go?" She gave in.

Immediately Hanna perked up. "The Brew, I want a strawberry frappe."

Emily then turned to face me, and Hanna followed. "Uhm Alison…"

I knew Emily felt awkward. I'm right here, and Hanna obviously doesn't want me around. She made it clear when she told Emily 'just you and me'. But I can see poor Emily's struggle, because she doesn't want to take sides.

"It's okay. You guys go." I faked a smile.

"We didn't ask for your permission." Hanna replied hostile.

"Hanna don't be rude." Emily raised her voice, and looked back at her.

Hanna sighed and looked away, clearly annoyed.

"I'll just go home. Goodnight. Both of you." I clasped Emily's hand affectionately and walked away, but managed to catch Hanna's glaring eyes.

"Goodnight." Emily replied. Hanna shrugged which I took as her way of a reply.

I didn't look back at them, but I heard Emily's car drive off.

I went to my room, saying goodnight to my dad on the way up, and locked myself in.

I laid on my bed thinking. Emily and I haven't talked about our kiss the night I told her what she had felt for me wasn't one-sided; that those kisses weren't just for practice.

If I'm being honest, I'm scared that Emily might not be in love with me anymore, and I'm not completely sure what I feel for her either.

She's not the same girl she was before I disappeared and in some ways she's become better. She's stronger now than she's ever been. I'm glad she's not as naïve, and blindly kindhearted as she was. But at the same time I hate that every time I look into her eyes I no longer see her endless love, and kindness towards me. Instead I see uncertainty, and hurt.

This is what I've done.

I've hurt us.

Whatever beautiful thing we could have been and the love she had for me.

When I was on the run, I was sure I loved Emily. But now that I'm back and I see those things in her eyes… I don't know. Maybe it's better if I deny myself.

I don't know what I'd do if I allow myself to get lost in her, and she no longer feels the same.

Would I rather have her as a friend? What if she still loves me just as much but is waiting for me to take the first step? Then we'd be perfect.

I don't know what to do.

But I know I do not want to lose Emily. She mean too much for me to let her go.

* * *

**Emily POV**

After we got a frappe, and hardly talked Hanna and I are now in my car, and I'm taking her home.

She's been off lately. I know she's been drinking, but I don't know what to do.

The other day I tried talking to her about it but she completely shut me off.

Although to be honest, I could have tried harder, but something is not sitting right with me.

Maybe it's the disdain she's been showing Alison, when all Alison's been trying to do is be a better person and Hanna keeps slamming down any of her efforts.

I guess I'm irritated with Hanna, but I'm also concerned for her. The problem is neither feeling is letting me act on one.

I don't want to be mean to Hanna though. She's always been sweet, and very sensitive.

I hate seeing her like this.

"Hanna." I call. She's looking mindlessly out her window.

She only grumbles in response.

"What's going on with you?" I ask. Whatever is going on with her I have to try to figure out.

"What do you mean?" Her voice is spaced out, and she's still looking out the window when I glance towards her.

"Hanna you know you can talk to me right?"

Again she just grumbles in response.

"I don't know if this has anything to do with Caleb being back or maybe Alison, but you can talk to me."

"Are you sure about that?" She asks in a harsh tone. Now she makes sure to look towards me.

We're at her house already and I park in her driveway.

"You know since you get all defensive when it comes to Alison. Gosh Emily I don't know how you can keep defending a girl like that." She shakes her head.

"I want to be honest with you. Underneath it all, I am glad Alison is well, but I'm angry." I soften my tone.

I don't Hanna and me to start shouting at each other. That's not going to solve anything.

"About what?" Hanna softens her tone as well, and looks at me curiously.

"Alison used me. And now she's back, and…" I don't know if I should tell Hanna about Alison's confession a few days ago. Would Alison get mad?

Why do I even care if she gets mad? It's part of my life too, and I can share it with anyone if I please.

Yet I still have that gut-wrenching reaction that Alison might shame me for sharing any affection she gives me.

"What is it Emily?" Hanna turns her body as much as she can on the seat to face me completely.

"Promise me you won't tell the other girls." Hanna nods and promises. "I trust you Hanna."

She smiles softly and I let it out. "The other night Alison told me that… the feelings I had for her weren't one sided as she had led me to believe. She told me that the kisses we shared weren't just for practice, and then later that night… we made out on her bed," I whispered.

What I saw in Hanna's eyes was not what I was expecting.

I was expecting shock, maybe even anger, and even though there was a pinch of that, what I mostly saw was sadness.

After a minute Hanna turned to face the front of the car once more and let out a sorrowful, "Oh."

I decided to ignore her reaction and continued with the whole reason I brought this up in the first place. "I'm angry at her, because I don't know if she's playing me again. I don't know if I can trust her, and it just… annoys me. Because that's the way it's always been with Alison, and I'm so fucking fed up with it."

"Then don't go back to her," Hanna let out so quietly I almost missed it.

I said nothing, and after a few minutes Hanna asked, "Do you love her?"

"Aria asked me the same question the other say, and I still don't know the answer."

I felt soft warm flesh grab on to my hand. "Promise me you will never settle for someone that treats you like crap." Hanna squeezed my hand.

Could I promise that?

When it comes to Alison, my resolve crumbles.

Sure I've changed since she disappeared. I'm a much stronger person now, but it's so hard to not love her.

And even though I'm not sure whether I still love her, I sometimes catch myself in split seconds were my thoughts of her become what they once were.

It terrifies me that one way or another I might end up losing anything I've gained of myself, to Alison.

It scares me to think I could love her just as fiercely again, because if that were to happen would I be her puppet?

I really don't want to go back to that.

I really really don't, but when it comes to love all common sense it lost.

I have to stick to who I am though.

And one thing I most definitely am, is loyal to the people I love.

I might be unsure of what I feel for Alison but I know that I love my friends, Hanna being one of them.

Maybe Hanna can be the one that saves me from me.

I don't go back on a promise.

Maybe if I put my better new self on the line for someone else besides me, I can pull through. I can. I hope I can so I say, "I promise."


	3. Crossing off the List

**A/N: Did you guys catch that "Emily take me with you!" from Hanna in last night's PLL. My fangirl heart exploded.**

* * *

**Hanna POV**

I hardly slept last night. I'm glad Emily promised me she wouldn't be with someone unworthy of her. A huge weight was lifted off my shoulders with that, because I don't ever want to see Emily hurt like that again.

But that's not what I lost sleep over.

It was over everything that Emily told me Alison had confessed to her.

All night I wondered if Alison might be telling the truth. If she isn't then Emily will be hurt all over again and if she is… Would Emily go back to Alison?

When she told me that she and Alison had made out, my chest compressed and my stomach hurled. I still feel it every time I think about it.

I couldn't help but feel heartbroken at the thought of Emily and Alison sharing a bed, and kisses.

This was all I could think about last night. And this morning I decided to have a beer or two with Caleb before being dropped off at school.

I had to prepare myself to face the other blonde now that I've learned a few more details. But the day was completely uneventful. Not that I'm complaining.

I'd take this over an adrenaline filled 'A' day. Thank God we don't have to deal with that psycho anymore.

Throughout the day I tried to catch any interaction between Alison and Emily, but there wasn't much there beside the obvious tension and awkwardness.

That didn't tell me much as to whether Alison had true feeling for Emily or not.

I'm waiting outside of school. I think I might call Caleb to pick me up.

I'm struggling a bit to stand still. Okay, so I had a few sips from my flask throughout the day, but whatever.

I look to my right and see Spencer and Emily muttering. They both turn to look at me and then turn back to continue their whispering.

Could it be more obvious that they're talking about me?

I lean on the railing, and just as I'm about to tap Caleb's name on my contact list, Emily stands in front of me.

"Hey Han do you need a ride home?"

"No. I'm calling Caleb."

"Let me take you home. If you don't want to we can go to mine or where ever else you want."

"I don't want YOU to take me anywhere."

Emily got the hint of why I must be irritated with her and said, " Yes. Spencer and I were talking about you. We just don't want you to feel alone. Spencer has been with Toby. Aria with Ezra, and I with Ali, but…Look I know Alison coming back has thrown off our dynamic, but I want to spend time with you again."

"Is it because you want to spend time with me or because you want to babysit me?" I challenged.

"Both." Emily said sternly, and I was surprised by the honesty of her answer. "I know you care for him, but Caleb has turned into a total drunk, and he's bringing you down with him on a road full of empty bottles." She placed her hands on each side of me on the railing, which made me look directly into her eyes. "Yesterday I promised you I would never let anyone treat me like crap. I intend to keep that promise, but now I need you to promise me you won't be your own worst enemy."

I took my eyes off hers and looked at the floor.

I felt Emily's hand on my cheek as she made me look up at her. "Don't bring yourself down Hanna. If you really want to give a big 'fuck you' to Alison or anyone else, be the best _you_ you can be. I know this isn't you."

"People change." I muttered under my breath.

Emily took her hand off my cheek and now it felt awfully cold.

"I miss you Hanna. Please come with me," she said in the sweetest softest tone I've ever heard.

How could I say no?

"Just you and me?" I asked.

She nodded, and then I did so too to let her know I'd agreed.

We ended up going to Emily's after all. She told me to pick out a movie while she ordered pizza.

I know Emily loves scary movies, and I'm not in the mood for something funny since I probably won't laugh. And romance is the last thing I want to see, so I pick out "Zodiac." Serial killers are always fun, said no one.

Emily comes back to the room with two cups full of ice and two cans of soda, she closes her bedroom floor with her foot, and hands me a cup and can.

We don't talk much. We just settle at the head of her bed and watch the movie, until the door rings and I pause it.

"Should be the pizza, I'll be back in a bit."

Emily comes back with the box and we eat.

A little later than an hour the movie is done, and now we sit in total silence again.

"So…" Emily starts, and tries to break the somewhat awkward silence. "How are things with Caleb?"

I shoot that down quickly. "I don't want to talk about him."

Emily lays her whole body down on her bed and leans on her side. She flinches a bit when she uses her shoulder as support. "Hanna this change of yours, does it have to do with him coming back?"

I sigh. "No." I sit up straighter against the headboard.

"Does it have to do with Alison coming back?"

"Emily…" I start to whine, but she shoots me down.

"Hanna we need to talk about this. Now if you don't want to do a lot of talking that's fine. So I'll ask simple questions. Just answer yes or no." She repeats the previous question. "Does it have to do with Alison coming back?"

"Yea. She's part of it."

"So is this is about someone else too?"

"Yes."

Emily stays quiet. I don't think she knows what to ask next. A simple question.

For some reason a blab out, "Did you always know you were gay?"

Emily's eyes widen, and then her head turns to the side in an adorably confused way. "Where is this coming from?"

"I just never asked, and I'm curious."

Emily stays quiet for a few seconds then says, "Yea. I denied myself for a long time, but I think I did always just know. Denying yourself is like wearing a mask. And the thing about a mask if that if you wear it long enough you start to forget who you really are."

In a careful tone Emily added, "Why are you really asking me this Hanna?"

"I've just never known who the hell I really am." I mumble.

"Do you think you're…gay?"

A snort out a tiny laugh, "No."

Emily smiles a bit. "So this isn't about a girl?"

I stay quiet. I was going to deny it but I stood quiet for too long and Emily caught on.

"This is about a girl." She stated with no question in her voice.

Screw it. "Somewhat." I whispered.

Emily got a little smirk on her face. "Who is she? Do I know her?"

"Yes."

"Is it Mona?" Emily said tentatively.

"Emily NO." I laughed.

"Ok good. She's too crazy." She laughed.

"Mmm." She was clearly thinking hard. Realization hit her face and my heart started beating faster. "Oh MY GOD, is it Spencer?"

I looked at her dead on. "Really? Spencer and I would kill each other."

"Well it is said opposites attract." She chuckles. "Wait this is someone from our group?"

Through a shaky breath I let out, "Yea." My God my heart is beating so hard it hurts.

"It's not Spencer, and it can't be Alison because you said she's ONE of the problems. Aria?" Her voice became lower.

I couldn't say anything. I felt I could hardly breathe.

This is it. I've waited too long to tell her. It's time I face my feelings for her head on. It's time I stop being scared, and it's most definitely time I stop letting others get in the way.

First Alison, then Maya, then Caleb, A, Paige, no that's it; I'm fed up. I'm going to lead my own way now.

I lower my eyes, too nervous to meet her own. I can't speak, so I shake my head. It's so slight and careful, but I know Emily caught it, because she moves off to sit on the edge of the bed.

Minutes pass, or maybe it was just a few seconds but it feels like an eternity of pure silence other than the drumming of my heart in my ears. I don't even think she's breathing. She's simply sitting there with her back facing me, still as a rock.

Finally she speaks, but I almost miss it.

Along with the breath she was holding she whispers, "That only leaves me."

* * *

** R&R. Who do you ship?**


	4. I can tell that we are gonna be friends

To the **GUEST** that said I was an "Ali-hater", I'm not. Actually my favorite characters from PLL are Spencer and Alison (I love their Slytherin-ess). Next is Hanna and Emily. Maybe you didn't read the part where I wrote "different points of view may have different opinions". Hanna is not very fond of Alison so I will write what is in HER point of view. I'm not going to let my Ali-love-bias get in the way of trying to portray a character correctly.

To **Linipll**: Thank you! And yes I'm only trying to touch briefly on other characters, but trying to maintain focus of the love triangle. OMG I'm a Spemily shipper too lol. I love all the ships except Ezria. IMO Ezra is totally creepy and Aria never seemed too interesting to me. They kinda bore me haha. I know some people adore them though. On another note, I'm still not sure what's the endgame ship. I'm trying to write as if I were in each of the girls situation, and trying to go along with whatever feelings develop. I probably love both ships equally, but more than hardcore shipping, I like the telling of a story :)

* * *

**Alison POV**

So far today has been boring. I'm waiting to catch Emily alone, so I can convince her to hang out without seeming needy. She told us a few days ago that she'd be the new assistant coach for the swim team.

The way her face lit up as she told us made me happy; I love seeing her like that.

I walk through the doors to the outside quad and sit with the girls. We talk about nothing important for about 5 minutes and I notice Hanna still hasn't come. As a matter of fact I haven't seen her all day.

"Where's Hanna?" I look to the girls.

"I've texted her," Spencer started. "So have I," Aria interrupted.

"She just told me she wasn't coming and when I asked why she didn't reply." Spencer continued.

Then I looked to Emily and she was tense. "You okay?" I asked.

"Yea." She shrugged it off. "Just worried about Hanna that's all."

"Maybe we should check up on her after school?" I asked the girls.

"No." Emily answered quickly which now tells me there's definitely something going on between the two. "I'll go."

Aria perked up. "Emily don't you have your first day as assistant coach today?"

Emily deflated. "Crap that's right."

"I can go if you're all busy." I offered again.

"No offense Alison, but that's not the best idea unless you want to throw Hanna off the deep end," Emily said.

"Emily's right. I'll go." Spencer backed Emily up.

"Fine." I shrugged. I genuinely do want to know if Hanna's okay, but they're right. I'm not Hanna's favorite person as of the moment.

I made sure to keep up with Emily as we walked down the hall to our respective classes. Spencer and Aria were falling behind so I took that opportunity to talk to her. I felt like the longer I waited the more my courage left me.

"Em, what time do you finish coaching?"

"Why?"

"I was thinking we should hang out…"

"Alison I can't, not today. I'm already drained and I still have to deal with practice."

"Did something happen between you and Hanna?" I ask since I did notice her change in mood especially after mentioning the other blonde.

"No."

Although Emily has gotten better at lying, she's still not good enough to fool me.

"You're lying." Emily stopped walking and stood up straight. She looked just about ready to start getting defensive.

I put my hands in front of me to let her know I would let it go, at least for now.

Last night I decided I would test the waters with whatever Emily and I have, but in order to do that we would actually have to spend time together. And that's something Emily is practically hell bent on avoiding.

If I know Emily, like I think I do, she'll appreciate the honesty.

"Ever since we kissed you've avoiding me."

"Alison keep your voice down. Not here. People might hear." She whispered nervously whilst looking around to see if anybody heard.

Wow. If you had told me 2 years ago that Emily would be the one wanting to keep me a secret as if it were a shame, and that she'd be the one avoiding me after a kiss we shared, I would have called you the biggest moron I've ever met.

It seems as though the tables have completely turned.

"No, here." You keep avoiding me so we'll talk HERE." I challenged her, channeling some of my old Alison traits. "Emily you need to stop avoiding me. We NEED to talk."

"Not now."

"Fine, then after you're done with practice."

"Alison I don't…"

I held her hand tightly in desperation and that made her shut up. "Don't cut me off Emily. Please." I was practically begging, but I didn't care. Any bitchy resolve I started with shattered.

"Fine." Emily reluctantly agreed. "I can go over to your place around 5."

"Sounds good. I'll be waiting." I smiled.

I was going to let her hand go, but I decided in to instead pull her closer to me. My arms wrapped around her neck. After a second of shock Emily tentatively placed her hands on my waist. "Thank you," I whispered.

Then I heard behind me, "Don't worry about us. We'll just go to class."

I took my time to disentangle from Emily and saw Spencer keep her eyes on us with suspicion written all over her face. Her head was turning all the way back as she kept walking.

"Careful Spencer, you might break your neck." I teased, and she immediately snapped her head to face front. I faced Emily again. "I'll be waiting for you."

By 4:40 I already had my room spotless, and had changed clothes, looking at myself over and over in the mirror. I was planning on talking all of it through with Emily. I felt so nervous that my stomach was tense and jumpy. The ache had me almost hunched over. Every minute felt endless. My irritation kept building up. I wanted it to be 5 already, but at the same time I almost wish I didn't invite Emily over.

After twisting and turning, and pacing around my room 5 o'clock finally came. And now my ear was basically glued to my bedroom door, waiting to hear the doorbell.

At 5:01 it rang, and since I didn't want to seem too desperate I took the slowest steps I could manage with my anxious feet until I was down the stairs. I opened the door to find Emily in her Sharks sweater with the words 'assistant coach' stitched on its left.

We didn't great each other. She had her hand inside her pocket, and quickly ran a hand through her hair.

She's nervous too.

I'm glad I'm not the only one.

We silently made our way up to my bedroom, and I tried to make simple conversation as if it could calm down my nerves. "How was your first day?"

"Really good. Coach said I did a great job. I need to work a bit more on organizing, and time managing with the workouts, but it wasn't anything too bad."

"I bet the girls love you." I smiled.

"They do like me, yes." Emily replied with a small smile displaying on her lips.

"I'm glad everything went well Em. You deserve it. I'm pretty sure you might be the best assistant coach in Rosewood High history.

"I don't know about that." Emily shrugged. She's always so humble. It's amazing that she doesn't realize how great she is.

"I know Em. You're incredible I know you don't like to boast, but you are."

Emily looked down shyly, and I could tell she was trying to hide a blush.

I sat down next to her. We were silent for a long time. We both knew what we had planned on talking about. We both NEEDED to talk about it, but I'm sure we were also wanting for the other to start.

I decided to finally give in. "Em… that night we kissed… I really liked it, because I've wanted to do that for a long time. To kiss you without the lie of it being for practice or have you think it didn't mean much to me. It's the first genuine kiss I've ever had." With a shaky hand I took hold of hers. "Emily I know we've both changed. I know you have, and I know you probably don't trust me. There's a chance you don't believe all that I'm saying right now due to my impeccable track record, but this…" I intertwined our fingers and held on tightly, "…this is real. But don't believe my words, let me show you."

Finally Emily spoke up with a voice much more assertive than I had imagined. "How exactly would that be?" She looked me right in the eye.

"I know it's too soon, and we're different people now, but I believe that we are the same at our core. And if that's true then what made you love me once will make you love me again, and I… I already… I still… have feeling for you." I settled for that.

"So what happens then? I don't exactly think you answered my question." Emily scrunched her eyebrows.

"I mean it's too soon to date. I think we should get to be comfortable and trusting of each other again. Just get to know each other's new side. We should just, you know… hang out." I shrugged, trying to be as casual as I could manage.

"So you want us to be friends? I thought we already were."

"No we're not Em." I said sadly. "We were friends, then we became friends with benefits of helping each other to find out who A was so she wouldn't keep fucking with us, or kill us. I lost your friendship the moment I betrayed your trust, and broke your heart." My eyes were starting to sting. I'm blinking as fast as I can to keep the tears in.

"I'm angry with you. Really fucking angry, but I still care about you." She looked down at our hands. "And I want to give you this chance. As much as I feel angry and uncomfortable, I will try. How could I not give you a chance? Even after everything I still see some good in you Alison, that's the only thing that made me come here." Emily didn't tear her eyes from mine as she spoke. She had really grown confident. The Emily of two years ago would stumble all of her words, and give me shy side glances.

"Okay." I breathed out happy. "So let's be friends."


End file.
